I just finished watching Pastor LaBryant Friend’s sermon called “focus,” and my God. The sermon was an on time word for me. It truly helped shift my perspective on friends. It also helped me realize and accept the fact that I do not have the “close friends” that I yearn for. Pastor LeBryant spoke profoundly and I received many words of wisdom from him, but something he implied was the importance of assessing our circles. He went into detail and led me into a place I believe the Lord needed me to be in.
In this blog I am going to share with you what Holy spirit shared with me in regards to friends, but before I do I have to give you the back drop of my night. You know what time it is!
After watching the sermon, I immediately screamed up stairs for my husband to come down and talk about the word I just heard. We both thought the word was powerful and well needed during this time. If you haven’t heard of or listened to Pastor LaBryant Friend, I advise you to. He’s a powerful speaker, and filled with Holy Spirit. While my husband and I were talking about friends and how we need to do a better job at being friends to one another I had an epiphany. After taking the steps that Pastor LaBryant gave in order to assess my circle, I realized that I did not have a circle at all. For years, I have tried to talk myself into thinking that I had close friends, but today….. I finally accepted the fact that I don’t. I wanted to stop talking to my husband and just cry so badly, but I had to keep it together. My husband was like “I pray to God daily asking Him to send you your group of friends because I be noticing how bored you get.” “Your phone be dry.” “People hit you up when they need something from you, need to vent, or want you to pray for them.” “Then you have those who hit you up monthly asking you how you’re doing.” “But you really don’t have close friends who check on you daily, encourage you, motivate you, or strive to help you be a better woman.” “You are always the one reaching out to people, asking them how they are doing baby, but you barely get that back in return.” I wanted to cry, but I held my tears because this honestly was the first time I was able to have this conversation and accept my reality. I told my husband he was absolutely correct and that I was going to remain encouraged. Hubby went back up stairs and all I heard was “go into your war room (prayer room) and cry. I have something to share with you.” So, I went into the war room, laid out before God and just began to weep. While I was laying there crying, there were so many people on my mind that I considered to be close friends, but Holy Spirit revealed something completely different.
Holy spirit told me that in life there are two categories of “friends.” You have the ones who love you in close proximity and who love you from a distance. I am going to be explaining the both of those categories with hopes that they bless you.
Friends who love you in close proximity
These are your close friends. They check on you daily. Pray for you. Call you to encourage you spontaneously. Motivate you. Challenge you to be a better version of yourself. You struggle together. Cry together. Laugh together. Support one another and ETC. The love is mutual, genuine, and reciprocated.
Friends who love you in close proximity are those who prioritize you and their friendship with you. These are the friends I believe everyone prays for as being an adult. Quick side note: history with a person doesn’t hold any weight when you are an adult. I have childhood best friends that I barely talk to. I still love them with all of my heart, but I do not feel as close to them as I used to due to our busy lives, lack of communication between us, and having different walks in life. So, they would fall into the friends who love from a distance category. (Just being real)
Friends who love you from a distance
These are the genuine people who love you, but do not prioritize your friendship. They think about you, support you, pray for you, and encourage you all from a distance. You’ll hear from them probably once a month, if that. They are the ones who are too busy for you. They say things like, “you were on my mind last month, so I reached out to see how you are doing today (a month later).” The infamous Hey, how are you doing – that’s good – glad you’re doing well conversations are the type of conversations you will have with these friends. I am super guilty of doing this , haha! I am POSITIVE that I fall into this category with many people.
For a very long period of my life I lived by the quote “Be the friend that you want others to be to you.” However, today I am deciding to replace it with “Understand what category your friends fall under and accept the reality.”
Each of your friends has an assignment in your life – if it be to love you at a distance or in close proximity. Please keep in mind that sometimes the assignment changes.
Whichever one they’re called to fulfill in your life – embrace and accept it.
“Do not attempt to force the genuine people in your life that were called to love you from a distance to love you in close proximity.” – Terran Z. Brodie
I say all of that to say stay encouraged. Do not over think or over complicate the roles your friends play in your life. Accept your reality, and pray that God will send you that close friend you are yearning for. Know that the genuine people who are in your life who were once close friends are not fake – people grow and with growth sometimes comes emotional proximity separation.
EMBRACE IT, SMILE, & BE OPEN TO MAKING NEW FRIENDS.
Thank you all for reading.